Circumstances Are Changing: The stigma of being female in Nepal
Thursday, March 04, 2021
“I often wished I was born male. That way, I wouldn’t have to face the stigma of being female. I was just seven when my father died. My two younger sisters and I were all my mother had. We suddenly became an all-female family. That was when my mom started receiving hatred from our community. They’d talk about her behind our back. She was hated and humiliated for being a widow as if women can’t survive without male family members. She’d have nobody to take care of her when she grew old, they’d say. After all, daughters go to live in the husband’s house after getting married. People saw her as a bad omen. Her presence wasn’t welcomed anywhere.
But she shrugged it off, put up a façade of a strong woman, and braved the storm. She did it for four years – until it was just too much that she couldn’t anymore. That’s when she decided to get remarried. All of us moved into our step-father’s house and were raised there. And sometimes I wonder – would she have had to get remarried against her wish if she were male or at least had a son? The answer is a resounding no. This type of blatant inequality is why I wished I were born a male.
Now the circumstances are changing. Slowly but steadily, we are making progressive strides towards gender equality. These outdated perceptions are losing ground. I’m finally starting to appreciate the beauty of being a woman. And I won’t let society drag me down anymore. No longer will I feel helpless again.”
-Bishna Shahi, Kitchen Staff, Kopila Valley Children’s Home