Letter #9 (50 Love Letters)
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Dear N,
When you fall asleep next to me you curl up in a ball and find a way to wrap your arms and legs around me and nuzzle your head into my neck and make sure we are completely intertwined. We have been attached at the hip since the day you came. You were born on my birthday and you were the best birthday gift I've ever been given. We have celebrated our birthdays every year together since.
I've been accused of spoiling you. I carried you on my hip forever and we co-slept until you were four. When Ravi came, you were five, and still very much the baby of the house. Everyone worried about you. They asked, "How will N take it? Won't he be jealous?" I worried too, but it only took a few days for those fears to melt away. I never once saw even a hint of jealousy in you, not the smallest trace, and I've never seen a more loving big brother. You wore that badge loud and proud and with the biggest smile I've ever seen from you. You'd gently hold him, comb his hair, and help me give him baths. You shared your blocks and all your toys.
We'd read stories together and I'd tell you stories of when you were a baby too. When you came into my life it was very unexpected. I wasn't sure I was ready to have a baby. It only took about five minutes for you to look in my eyes and convince me that I was, and lucky for both of us we had a lot of help, between Kusum and my sister Libby and your big sister. It wasn't an easy road and we both didn't sleep for months, but we made it and now you're 6!
When I think of you I think of blocks, blocks, and more blocks. You love to build things with your hands and have been good with a shovel and dirt since you were two, my little mason.
Your tantrums are epic. I hate being away from you because you never want to FaceTime and always cover your face when I see you on the screen. I'm sorry I can't be with you right now. I can't wait to have your arms and legs entangled in mine again soon. You were the most amazing big brother to Ravi. You are the best son to me. My love for you is infinite. I'm so proud of you. I'll spoil you for the rest of your life and I'll love you forever.
Xoxo Mama
#50loveletters #loveheals