Letter #3 (50 Love Letters)
Friday, April 08, 2016
S,
My love, my heart, my laughter, my joy. I'm sorry I made you cut your hair. I'm really sorry. You loved your hair and I made you cut it and it wasn't a cool move. "I love my hair more than I love girls," you told me, heartbroken. (You LOVE girls.) It wasn't a parenting moment that I'm proud of and I'll always regret it and yet you still found a way to laugh about it with me and your brothers.
Anyways, enough about your hair. I love your laugh and your smile and your perfect teeth and your golden skin and your rock solid heart and how hard you try at math even though it's not your best subject. (It wasn't mine either.) I'll never forget the days after Ravi died and you came in and held me and did everything you could to make me smile. I'm sorry I couldn't smile. I should have been strong for you but there you were being strong for me.
I love watching you dance. You've got the moves like Jagger and I watch you and think, "Where did those moves come from?!!? How did he learn to do that? That's my little boy up there on stage! That's my little boy doing the most amazing choreography and sweating and working until he hits every move and every beat." I can see you leading a boy band some day. One Direction Nepal.
Things tend to come naturally to you...school, making friends, sports and guitar. I love how well-rounded you are. I love the way you are willing to sink your teeth into anything. I love your competitive spirit. I love the brother you are, especially to your sisters. I love how you protect them all. A part of me was secretly proud that you got in a fight with the kid that made fun of one of your sisters, even though I never want you to do that ever ever again because violence is never ever ever the answer. We learned a good lesson that week together.
You are growing into a strong, kind, beautiful young man and I'm blessed to watch you. You are SUCH a teenager but in my mind you will always be my six year old with the scratchy voice who always fought to hold my hand when we walked to the market and who I had to yell at for eating an entire eraser. You are so cool, S. How did I get a son so cool?
Do you want to know what I love about you? Everything!!!
Xo Mom
#50loveletters #loveheals