I often think about the mothers of our children here, who brought them into this world and left before they could see them grow up. Sometimes I wish they were here to see how beautiful their children have become, how intelligent, how loving and kind. I think about how proud they would be. At times, I wish I could call a meeting with all of them together in one room. I would talk to them about their children. Maybe Krishna's mom would know what to do about him peeing in the bed every night. I would joke with Narendar's mom about how he never changes his clothes and could go days without bathing. I picture them here watching over us when they're sick. I clutch on to the tiny tidbits of memories that the children have shared with me, what they've heard or remember, tiny glimpses of who their mothers were.
What did they look like? What would they think of me?
I want to thank them for the gifts they've brought into this world and in some way given to me.
I've learned this past year how hard it is to mother a child. You question everything you do and everything you say. You wake up in the middle of the night thinking about them. At the end of the day you just want them to be safe and fed and loved. And when they're sick... it's awful, it's the worst. And it's hard when you have to punish them. It's hard when they're upset or sad and you don't know if you can make things better. It's hard knowing that they're going to grow up someday and not be able to cry in your arms or fall asleep on your lap, or ask you questions like, "Is there a grocery store on the moon?"
I've recently realized how blessed I've been to have women and mothers in my life, especially my own mother and my own grandmothers who have taught me the gift and beauty of motherhood.
And with that I want to say.
Happy Mothers Day and thank you to all of those who are, who will be, and who have ever been.